2011-To Whatever Comes

I'm a little late on these thoughts, but the last couple weeks have been super busy and I still wanted to share. I said goodbye to 2010, with if I can be honest, a huge sigh of relief. I felt like I could breathe again. I made it. 2010...it was a CRAZY whirlwind year, full of many great blessings, but also full of change, transition, and hurt... I know the change to the new year isn't some great huge dramatic change. It simply starts another day, another week/month with different numbers in the date. But for me, I was counting down the switch. As I reflected back on 2010 I found myself in a weird tension. I was/am so grateful for the many great blessings and provisions God gave our family this last year. I wanted to focus my heart the positive, on the GOOD things about 2010. But I also found my heart in a place of being tired. I wanted to get rid of 2010, to put it behind me. I found myself yearning for a new clean slate. I found myself praying "God, I need this year to be as calm and smooth as any year in life can possibly be." What I heard back was this....
You don't need a smooth, calm year. You need to continue to focus on pursuing me, walking with me, and letting me guide you through whatever comes. So...


2011-Here's to a new year, a new slate, a new focus, and a new perspective. To whatever comes...

Giving Thanks to Trust

“Will you trust me?”

This has been God’s reoccurring question to me over the last couple months. Each day, “will you trust me?” Each week, “will you trust me?” Each month, “will you trust me?” I have found sometimes the quickness with which I answer yes to this question is intimately connected with my perspective, my focus. When life hits hard with a season full of trials and disappointments, sometimes it’s easy for me to stay focused on how nothing is going the way I want it to, it’s easy to wonder...what is God thinking. It’s easy for me to dwell with a negative perspective. It’s hard to trust that God’s plan is best. In order to keep my perspective positive, I have found that I need to choose to keep my mind focused, more so than usual, on what I have to be thankful for and the ways that God has continually provided for me. Intentionally digging deep and being observant to what’s happening in my life during the hard seasons. Not just on the surface. Sure I’m thankful for clothes, food, etc., but choosing to dig deep and look for God. I have learned during this season that God doesn’t just promise to provide, he LOVES to provide. He loves to reach down into our struggles and give us something just for us, just because. A sort of personalized provision. But if I choose not to look, if my perspective and focus isn’t right, it’s easy to miss his provision. Being focused and intentionally observant helps me see God’s personalized provisions in my life. It helps me choose to keep my heart thankful and overwhelmed with God’s love. Being thankful is a choice. Trusting is a choice. Choosing to be thankful helps me to readily choose to trust.

I also know that choosing to remember God’s previous personalized provisions, helps me to continue to choose to be thankful and to choose to trust in the future. So Tuesday’s are now my days to remember each week God’s provisions. Tuesdays are now my days to choose to remind myself to keeping choosing to be thankful and keep choosing to trust!

Tuesday Thanks:

• I am thankful for 2 books that have spoken intimately, exactly and specifically, and so profoundly into my life and current season and experiences. 2 books that have been connected in only a way God could’ve planned. 2 books that have helped me feel validated and not alone, encouraged, have helped me heal, and have taken me to a place of challenge, growth, and shift of perspective. (Bittersweet by Shauna Niequist and The Land Between: Finding God in Difficult Transitions)
• I am thankful for the Psalms. For a book full of language that I can relate and connect with. Language that I can pray in moments when I have no words. Language that I can point to, open my hands and heart and simple say God…
• I am thankful for a tough tough season that has brought an even deeper intimacy and connection with my husband. So thankful that we get to walk this journey together and grow together.
• I am thankful for diversity in people and personalities and tension in relationships because it helps me learn how to love- period.
• I am thankful for seasons of loneliness because I learn to let God be all I need.
• I am thankful for friends that God has brought to me, both new and old, in seasons of loneliness because he knows I need them....A new friend who always brings me coffee just because, who calls randomly just because to say hope you're having a great day, who always makes sure to ask How are you? followed up by really how are you?...An old friend becoming a closer friend, that gets up super early on Weds just to chat with me about life, struggles, what we're learning and growing, passions, desires, mistakes, who often speaks words from God to me, who supports me, who likes me for me...I am thankful for a new friend that despite her own struggles, saw and believed something in me, challenged me to take a next step and face fears and insecurities, and who has encouraged me as I took that next step back into something I love. An old friend who in catching up let me be completely real and honest about this season, who let me tell the story of this season-the hurt, anger, frustration, disappointment, the discovery, joy, and growth. Who heard me share it finally, in safety, for the first time to someone other than Matt. Who understood I needed to be just me, who let me cry, who encouraged me, hugged me, and spoke truth into me.

Until next Tuesday....